I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
what food is Colorado known for?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age