I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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