Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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