Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
