i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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