I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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