My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
