You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
