Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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