So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
