The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize