i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
