"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize