hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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