I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize