Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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