Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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