yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
