i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
