Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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