what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did i walk over a car last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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