My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My Higher Power is John Stamos
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
