i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
