They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize