I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
