hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
