im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
