Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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