His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
