ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
