omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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