I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Please don't give away my fajitas
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
