Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
