I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
