And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
