she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
