Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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