if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
