Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
