Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
