Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
