therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
