i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
