FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
