Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
