remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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