I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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