I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
