that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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