What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize