Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
