You're so nebulous sometimes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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