New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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