I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize