You smell like a Billy Joel song
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
