Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
