before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
