i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
