If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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