I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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