Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
